Most good campers have had to deal with them on more than one occasion.
I’m talking about the jackasses who think it’s their right to go out into the bush and proceed to do everything in their power to ruin camping for the rest of the camping world.
You know them–they generally have bear scares, base-heavy music, and a predilection for howling at the moon around three in the morning. They settle down around 4:00 a.m., start everything up again sometime in the afternoon, and leave the site looking more like a garbage dump than a camping area. They also have a tendency to leave campfires smoldering or barely put out, ready to start up again.
Someone You Know May Be A Jackass Camper If:
- They have more than three ways of making loud noises (bear-scares, music, voice, fireworks, etc.) and they use them separately or in combination more than once on a camping trip
- They feel it is their right to impose their life-style upon others, either by blocking access to other campsites, imposing above-mentioned noises upon others’ ears, or not worrying how their behavior will affect neighbors
- Ignoring camping rules, regulations and/or the law
- Engaging in disruptive behavior that extends beyond their own campsite
- Throwing combustibles into the campfire (bullets, propane tanks, containers of fuel, all of which I have heard of or seen being done by various jackasses)
- Feeling that their ATV has right of way because the campsites have roadways and they’ve been going there for years.
- Not cleaning up every speck of what is brought in. This includes shell casings, half-burnt lawn chairs (more common than you’d think), broken glass, and leftover food (which attracts bears and rats and other anti-camping critters)
- They feel the whole world is a toilet (No one wants to see little piles of toilet-tissue dotted among the brush like so many pimples on mother nature’s face. Bury it.)
- Felling live trees for firewood
- Entering others’ campsites for any reason without permission
- Engaging in any activity that endangers their family, pets, friends or themselves (including going off on hikes without telling anyone and getting lost)
- Drug or alcohol excess
- Over-regulation-sized fires
- Dogs off-leash
- Incredibly bright light that extends beyond their campsite in a blinding manner
Do you know of anyone who indulges in any of these regularly? Or in more than three of these activities during one camping trip? If you do, they may just be a jackass.
If you are the unfortunate neighbor of jackass campers, do the world a favor and phone the authorities. Take cell phone photos of their licence plates. And for heaven’s sake, if they leave before you do, check to make sure their campfire is out. They won’t.